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Top 10 High School Movies |
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September 5, 2003 - Tim "Gym Class" Wann (Columnist)
It's back to school time! Time to brush off the laziness of summer vacation, dust off your 3-ring notebook, stock up on Bic pens, and wipe down the uzi for the new school year. But before you run off to catch the bus, you best cram for DML's Top 10 High School Movies! This list will prepare for the best and worst that high school has to offer. And don't forget your lunch money. You'll need it to pay off that bully waiting for you after 3rd period.
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10. Three O'clock High (1987)
Ok, so it's a complete Hughes rip-off in both writing and directorial style... but it's still fun and pretty much forgotten. So I figured I'd tack it to the list. Jerry Mitchell (Casey Siemaszko), nerdy writer for the school paper, is assigned to interview new student and enigma named Buddy Rivell (Richard Tyson). Jerry finds himself trying desperately to leave school grounds to escape an after school fight with Buddy after accidentally touching his jacket. It's far-fetched and cartoonish... but so is high school. Performances and all over high school-ness earn this one the number ten spot on the attendance list.
| Tim's Quotable: |
"Come on Mitchell! Pain is temporary, film is forever."
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9. Some Kind of Wonderful (1987)
The number nine spot kicks off the first of many John Hughes movies on this list. Some Kind of Wonderful tells the tale of a red-headed artist/gas-station attendant named Keith (Eric Stoltz) blowing his college fund on impressing the most popular girl in school (Lea Thompson). Keith's tomboy lady friend, Watts (Mary Stuart Masterson), realizes her feelings run much more deeply than just friendship. Basically this movie takes 'Pretty in Pink' and reverses the roles. But the performances and lovable 80's Hughes touch make this one hit the honor role.
| Tim's Quotable: |
"Ray, this is 1987. Do you know a woman can be whatever she wants?" - Watts
"I know, my mom's a plumber." - Ray
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8. Summer School (1987)
Hip phys. ed teacher, Mr. Shoop (Mark Harmon), gets roped into teaching summer school to a bunch of remedial misfits and goons. Good times all around. This one has always been a personal favorite of mine. One of those flicks that comes on TBS on some idle Saturday, and I just have to sit there and watch it all the way through because it's so charming. Dave and Chainsaw rock the house, and Mr. Shoop is the cool teacher you wish you had. A highly under-rated movie with a lot of spirit. And if you don't like it, you can see me after class.
| Tim's Quotable: |
"Who wants gum?" - Mr. Shoop (wearing only a visor, swim trunks and roller skates) to some thugs in a county jail cell.
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7. Lucas (1986)
Smart, weird, insect loving Lucas (Corey Haim) falls for earthy-chick turned cheerleader, Maggie (Kerri Green) who is really starry-eyed over football hero, Cappie (Charlie Sheen). Rule of thumb: High school is all about heartbreak, kids. This movie taught me that even earthy girls will pass you up for a football jock anytime the opportunity presents itself. Dammit! Lucas is a great film. Even though it plays like a CBS after school special, it's got tons of heart and really enjoyable performances. Plus you get to see a lot of up and coming stars (like Corey Haim, Winona Ryder, and Charie Sheen) before they were coked out and selling their teeth on eBay. Extra credit goes to casting Jeremy Piven, which is enough for me.
| Tim's Quotable: |
"I don't have time to dick with you right now, Bligh." - Football Coach
"Well I'm a afraid you're going to have to sir.... dick with me. See, my parents are lawyers." - Lucas
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6. Can't Hardly Wait (1998)
So this one doesn't really involve high school itself as much as it does the senior after party following graduation. No matter, it's still a fun little film with great cast of characters. The plot mainly centers on Preston Meyers (Ethan Embry), the average guy with a heart of gold trying desperately to let the girl he's had a crush on all through high school, Amanda Beckett (Jennifer Love Hewitt), just how crazy he is for her on what could be his last chance before high school is officially over. Can't Hardly Wait borrows from many a teen film that came before it, but nonetheless it's a great time with tons of laughs. And again, almost every character represents someone you knew while you were in school. Seth Green takes the spotlight as Kenny the white-boy gangsta wannabe along with Peter Facinelli as Mike Dexter, the self-obsessed jock. A fun throw back to reliving the senior parties that I never went to. Ahhh, those were the days.
| Tim's Quotable: |
"So what you're telling me is that he's kind of tall... he has hair... and wears t-shirts, sometimes?" - Amanda
"Yeah.... but I mean it's Preston." - Stoner 1
"PRESTONE!" - Stoner 2
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TIE 5. Clueless (1995)
Another under-rated delight that has a great cast and tons of bubbly charisma. Sure, not many of us can relate to the rich, west California high school way of life... but Cher Horowitz (Alicia Silverstone) makes it all so cute and amusing. Let's face it, Alicia Silverstone was born for this role until Reese Witherspoon came along and stole it with Legally Blonde. I was hell-bent on avoiding Clueless when it hit theaters because I thought it looked exactly like it's title implies. As if! Clueless utterly surprised to me with its wit, charm, and Barbie-pink appeal. Definitely one you can watch over and over again, and never get tired of. A+
| Tim's Quotable: |
"Excuse me, but my plastic surgeon requested that I refrain from any activity that involves balls flying in my face." - Amber
"Well there goes your social life." - Dionne
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TIE 5. Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986)
John Hughes strikes again in the decade that made him a household name with instant classics like this one. One of the movies that just comes immediately to mind when mentioning the best of the 80's. Who didn't want to be as cool as Ferris Bueller back in 1986? He can change his grades (a trait he learned in War Games, in case you didn't know), skip class, ride a float, drive a Ferrari, talk his way in and out of any situation, all while dating a hottie (Mia Sara) and making a fool out of principal Ed Rooney (Jeffrey Jones). This movie taught us all that life moves pretty fast... if you don't stop to look around once in a while, you might miss it. Save Ferris.
| Tim's Quotable: |
"Excuse me, do you speak English?" - Ferris
"Wh-what country do you think this is?" - Garage Attendant
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4. Sixteen Candles (1984)
John Hughes again, ladies and gentlemen. Sixteen Candles, to me, is the most fun of all the movies on this list. Yes, I know... but Ferris, Ferris! Leave me alone, I like this one more. Get over it. Samantha Baker's (Molly Ringwald) sweet sixteenth birthday is spoiled by the chaos surrounding her older sister's wedding to some oily bo-hunk. Meanwhile, her life is turned up-side down by an exchange student named Long Duck Dong, a geek named Farmer Ted (Anthony Michael Hall at his best), and dashing senior stud Jake Ryan. I love Sixteen Candles and also love that it doesn't get all sappy or weighty like some other coming of age movies do. It's a laugh a minute with priceless scenes and performances. Everyone is great, but Anthony Michael Hall as Ted takes the crown as the most heroic geek to ever grace the silver screen. He was my idol in my most deforming of puberty-ridden times. This movie is so great, it gets two quotables.
| Tim's Quotable: |
"We have $50 and a pair of girls underpants.... we're safe as kittens!" - Farmer Ted to fellow geeks, Brice and Cliff
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| Tim's Quotable: |
"Ooohhhhh, no more yanky my wanky... the Donger need FOOD!" - Long Duck Dong waking up hungover.
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3. Election (1999)
Good God this movie is fantastic! It's too bad it came out the same time Star Wars: Episode 1 did, because this gem got buried under the hype surrounding that piece of crap. What Election delivers, besides down-right brilliant humor, is probably the most authentic and honest presentation of high school ever on screen. Ambitious, over-achieving Tracy Enid Flick (Reese Witherspoon) finds herself running for class president against popular jock, Paul Metzler (Chris Klein), who is running under the recommendation of vengeful ethics teacher, Mr. McAllister (Matthew Broderick). How's that for a run-on sentence?! Funny how just two slots ago Matthew Broderick was on the giving end of all the mischief. Now it all comes back in spades. Terrific movie with a terrific cast. A wonderful black comedy that shows just how ridiculous the world of high school is in the first place. And Principal Walter 'Walt' F. Hendricks IS the perfect epitome of every principal you've ever encountered.
| Tim's Quotable: |
"That little bitch made a fool out of us. I want her out of the election." - Principal Hendricks
"Walt, we can't throw her out of the election just because we didn't like her speech. That's not what student government's about" - Jim McAllister
"Yeah..... All I know is, she's a troublemaker. She's on my list!" - Principal Hendricks
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2. Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982)
Arguably the mother of all high school films, Fast Times is to this genre what Animal House was for college. This was original teen movie of our generation. Even though it shows its age by today's standards, that becomes part of the everlasting appeal of this cross generational comedy/drama from writer Cameron Crowe. The long repressed free early 80's spirit of sex, drugs, and rock and roll dominates every aspect of this catalyst of the era. Seeing this film at age nine made me long for high school instead of fearing it. And made me all the more sad when I found out high school wasn't like this is real life. Fast Times defined itself with characters like Jeff Spicoli (Sean Penn), Mike Damone (Robert Romanus), and the memorable Mr. Hand (Ray Walston) along with a fantastic new wave soundtrack. Additionally, I don't know a male my age that doesn't remember the topless pool scene with Pheobe Cates as the moment when puberty took on a whole new meaning.
| Tim's Quotable: |
"Who ordered the cheese pizza with sausage?" - Pizza guy
"Right here, dude." - Jeff Spicoli sitting in class
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1. The Breakfast Club (1985)
Welcome to High School 101 everyone. The Breakfast Club should be required watching for every freshman class. The collective talents of both the Brat Pack (Anthony Michael Hall, Judd Nelson, Molly Ringwald, Ally Sheedy, Emilio Estevez) and writer/director John Hughes created the best high school movie ever made. Running the gamut of laugher and tears, acceptance and ostracizing, happiness and pain; a group of detention locked students are forced to spend a Saturday together figuring out exactly who they think they are. Although each from different classes, cliques, and social worlds, they find they have much more in common than they ever imagined. Anyone and everyone who attended high school at some point can relate to this movie; whether they were a brain, a princess, an athlete, a basket case, or a criminal. If you haven't seen The Breakfast Club, then you've missed out on quite possibly 'the' definitive teen movie of the 80's and possibly of all time. A true classic of this genre.
| Tim's Quotable: |
"In physics, um, we ah, we talk about physics... about properties of physics." - Brian
"So it's sorta social... demented and sad, but social. Right?" -Bender
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So that's it for today, class. Your homework for tonight is to watch one or all of these movies to prepare yourself for the 2003-2004 school year. If your favorite high school movie wasn't on my list, you'll just have to post it on message board along with a detailed essay on why it should be on there. Watch it, I'm grading you on spelling and grammar. Yeah, like I'm one to talk.
And I leave you with my actual senior school photo direct from the East DaddyMonkey High School archives. I reveal, the mullet in all its glory. Ladies, let the swooning begin. Class dismissed.
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| DaddyMonkey Senior Class of 1992 |
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Thanks,
Brad & Tim. |
DMLives@gmail.com
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